with parents
![Pupil and adult at Brookfields
school](img/m12p090d/abrookfields_115_1.jpg)
A key to effective identification of a child's problems and providing for them
appropriately lies in the school's relationships
with parents.
Good practice entails:
- Regular home visits by teachers and other support staff;
- Training for parents in developing healthy minds;
- Parental support groups;
- Regular meetings and telephone contact;
- Co-ordination with other agencies so that parents do not have to attend unnecessary meetings.
![Adult and girl at James Rennie school](img/m12p090d/img_3702_2.jpg)
Problems arise in the relationship between school and parents that often have nothing
to do with any inadequacy or failing of
the parents:
- Late diagnosis of a pupil's problems;
- Unco-ordinated support from different agencies;
- Poor information provided for parents about whom to contact;
- Inadequate account taken of parents' childcare arrangements, so that they sometimes have difficulties in attending meetings;
- Negative feedback to parents about their children;
- Parents' perceptions that the school has 'given up' on
their child.
![Janice Sugg, Marley's mother](img/m12p090d/chadsgrove_1463_3.jpg)
How does one define 'family'? What considerations should one take into account when making such a definition?
It is more useful to think of the child's family as a network of people in the child's immediate psycho-social field. It is always useful to assess and understand how this network meets the child's developmental needs.
The family lifecycle: can you think of some of the principal stages of the family lifecycle?
Relate your answer to aspects or specific events in your own life ...
Family of origin experiences:
- Maintaining relationships with parents, siblings and peers;
- Completing school.
Leaving home:
- Differentiation of self from family of origin & developing adult-to-adult relationship with parents;
- Beginning a career.
Pre-marriage:
- Selecting partners;
- Developing a relationship;
- Deciding to marry.
Childless couple:
- Developing a way to live together based on reality rather than mutual projection;
- Realigning relationships with families of origin and peers to include spouses.
Family with young children:
- Adjusting marital system to make space for children;
- Adopting parenting roles;
- Children developing peer relationships.
Family with adolescents:
- Adjusting parent-child relationships to allow adolescents more autonomy;
- Adjusting marital relationships to focus on mid-life marital and
career issues; - Taking responsibility for caring for families of origin.
Launching children:
- Resolving mid-life issues;
- Negotiating adult-to-adult relationships with children;
- Adjusting to living as a couple again;
- Adjusting to in-laws and grandchildren within family circle;
- Dealing with disabilities and death in family of origin.
Later life:
- Coping with physiological decline;
- Adjusting to children taking a more central role in family maintenance;
- Making room for experience and wisdom of the elderly;
- Dealing with loss of spouse and peers;
- Preparation for death, life review and integration.
![Art class](img/m12p090d/img_0222_6.jpg)
Couples need to establish routines for meeting children's needs for:
- Safety;
- Care;
- Control;
- Intellectual stimulation;
- Activity.
Critically review the stages of the family lifecycle with your colleagues?
How might having a child with complex needs affect these stages?
Do you feel your school does enough to include families? What initiatives might encourage family involvement?